Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Forever is a long time.

Maybe I'm not allowed to be mad.
Maybe I just expect to much out of people. 
Maybe I'm overreacting 
Maybe I just hope too much.
Maybe it's all in my head. 

No matter who you are, please don't promise me anything and especially not 'forever'. 
That's a long shot. Being attached to someone in anyway for forever is an exciting feeling. 
Being friends forever. Being together forever. 
The only human beings allowed to promise me forever are my best friends who actually mean it and my future husband. 
I have those friends that I hang out with all the time for like a whole summer and then one day they just out of thin air, disappear. They promised to be my friend forever...I followed that statement by saying " Don't promise me that". 
Why Ashley would you ever say that?- Well because I know better. 
Guess what you are 14, you are not going to marry your boyfriend who you have been with for 1 month. 
Oh, she's different now? Like she's done cheating on you? YOU'RE RIGHT! GO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER! SHE LOVES YOU SO MUCH.
You wanna be my best friend? Oh that is so sweet. Maybe you should try being there for me when I need you the most.

If you're reading this you are either totally agreeing with me or you're thinking wow this girl is psycho or you are saying to yourself...WHAT A BITTER ______ !. 

I believe in life lasting friendships and I believe in fairy tales. But I know that you have to suffer and to hurt to appreciate the little things and to be happy.   I mean at some point you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life. You have to realize that not everyone means every word they say. You have to realize that you are more passionate about life and this so called 'forever' than most of the people that you meet are. You have to realize that you're special and you mean what you say.  

I've realized that I do too much for people. I've realized that I deserve better. I've realized that if you want to be in my life that you'll make the effort. I've realized that if I am trying to make something work and the other party is not, all I can do is pray and move on. I've realized that I am fragile and care so much. I've realized that people say a lot of things and they don't mean most of them, that's not saying that one day someone won't ever come along and mean what they say...because they will. They will be different and when they do..when you meet that person who actually gives a shit. Don't ever let them go.

P.S.- God doesn't give you the people you want. He gives you the people you need. To help you. to hurt you, to leave you, to love you, and to make you the person you were meant to be.

-With love,  the girl who is relying on herself.

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